Can't stop myself laughing with this one!!

As the whirlwind in its fury teareth up trees, and deformeth the face of nature, or as an earthquake in its convulsions overturneth whole cities; so the rage of an angry man throweth mischief around him. Akhenaton

People of humor are always in some degree people of genius. Samuel Taylor Coleridge

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil, without disease and violence, I'd be standing on the breadline right in back of J. Edgar Hoover. Lenny Bruce

We cannot advance without new experiments in living, but no wise man tries every day what he has proved wrong the day before. James TruslowAdams

Words are poor interpreters in the realms of emotion. When all words end, music begins; when they suggest, it realizes; and hence is the secret of its strange, inexpressible power. H. R. Haweis

A daydream is a meal at which images are eaten. Some of us are gourmets, some gourmands, and a good many take their images precooked out of a can and swallow them down whole, absent-mindedly and with little relish. W. H. Auden

The only thing that holds a marriage together is the husband being big enough to keep his mouth shut, to step back and see where his wife is wrong. Archie Bunker

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series. Dave Barry

Civilization grew in the beginning from the minute that we had communication -- particularly communication by sea that enabled people to get inspiration and ideas from each other and to exchange basic raw materials. Thor Heyerdahl

I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it. Harry Emerson Fosdick

Being happy is something you have to learn. I often surprise myself by saying "Wow, this is it. I guess I'm happy. I got a home I love. A career that I love. I'm even feeling more and more at peace with myself." If there's something else to happiness, let me know. I'm ambitious for that, too. Harrison Ford

Kingdoogie: i dont exactly want to go back and i want to enjoy all of my life instead of skipping forward (If i had a time machine)

Voradin: "All advise is useless if one does not have the will to follow it."

chess_kebabs: ""A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."

chess_kebabs:"The coroner ruled my King commited suicide"..

chess_kebabs: ok, this one IS my own: "I am chessually frustrated"

chess_kebabs: here is another chess_kebabs original: ""When I play white, I win because I am white.When I play black, I win because my gun is loaded.""

dnornii: "Believe none of what you hear, half of what you see and most of what you feel"

theadam: "Even dead fish can swim downstream"....its easy to follow the crowd its "upstream" that defines you

cadalackr: life is short so be happy who you are

Asmodeus13: work is evil

QuietAssassin: --this one is"when u find out u gone die--don't be a punk"....

HooVooLoo: There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.

andropov : "Life is a dance on roses, just beware of the thorns"